Dishes and products to envy
When from abroad we are denigrated for the fragile economy, corrupt politics or the Crown trials, we respond with photos of dishes that many dream of. This is because Italian cuisine is perhaps one of the last traditions that we can boast with the rest of the world. After all, our food is religion and if it were not for the Vatican we will donate the 8 × 1000 to taverns outside the country.
But like all beautiful things, even our dishes are subject to imitations worthy of the worst Chinese sub-brands.
Pasta and ketchup
Pasta and ketchup is the clear demonstration of how to imitate something without listening to the audio. But the Italians put this red thing in it. What will be? Well, the answer those enlightened minds found was ketchup. On the other hand it is made with tomato, it is bottled and it is red. If they had activated the audio of the video recipe, we will probably be talking about something else by now.
Espresso
Ok, coffee is not a real dish. Okay, it's not our own invention. Ok, this writer finds American coffee a pleasant drink, but this is for the simple reason that I hate the flavor of strong coffee. And when I see bars and shops that make you an espresso as thick as distilled water abroad, my arms fall. Espresso coffee must be dense, tasty and concentrate the aroma of a whole South American plantation in one cup. The rest is just dirty water, like my beloved American coffee.
Mozzarella
Let's make one thing clear: if I am not able to run 100m under 20 seconds because I am not capable, the production of mozzarella must be left to expert hands. Unfortunately, this does not happen, quite the contrary. Abroad they sell a tasty white chewy paste calling it mozzarella. A real treat to eat or use as a concrete. The world has a lot to be forgiven, including this abonymity.
Pizza and pineapple
Well, here we could open a thesis to be discussed at Oxford. The title would certainly be How to ruin centuries of culinary history with a simple gesture. The story of pineapple pizza must have gone like this: one day there was a pizza chef who swore revenge on his customers who denigrated him on TripAdvisor. So he decided to make a margherita, but instead of basil he took a sliced pineapple. At that moment the diners were all disgusted by this opprobrium. All but a couple of Brits with taste buds obviously on vacation elsewhere. Thus this terrible evil spread throughout the world. The creepy thing is that there are people who like it.
Bolognese sauce
Bolognese sauce is not the name of an American comic series set in Little Italy, but the extreme attempt to imitate our ragù. This type of pasta sauce is a real art and requires high level ingredients and a few days of cooking. Abroad, however, it is possible to find it for two pennies in all formats. The result is a beautiful red liquid with chunks of meat, next to the detergent for delicate clothes. It is said that every bottle of meat sauce closed in the factory, a grandmother in Italy swears. Butterfly effect.
