Maybe there are more, but in my opinion there are 5 things to learn from non-Italian mothers that are worth trying.
After becoming moms we realize that everyone seems to know more than we do about raising our children. And that whatever we do or don't do anyway we are doing it wrong because others (mum, friends with or without children, neighbors, strangers in the street, distant aunts and cousins and anyone else) have better ideas. Everyone seems to have taken a degree in pedagogy and can pontificate on the subject.
Besides being frankly annoying, this habit is also a mistake. Because mom knows her son and knows what's best for him. In addition, she knows the dynamics of her own family and therefore knows what is best for her, her partner and any siblings. However, this does not mean that we are always right and that the habits we have are above all criticism.
Obviously not all Italian mothers are what the stereotype wants. That is to say of the overprotective hens who sacrifice their lives on the altar of their children. Nor are foreign mothers all models of education for the independence and resourcefulness of their children. However, there are some cultural traits that are more easily found abroad and that I have noticed both during my travels, and - and above all - now that I live abroad and not only see how local mothers behave, but I also compare myself with mothers from other countries.
5 things to learn from non-Italian mothers: you don't need a wool sweater
This is a teaching that I have made my own and my son is always dressed too little - according to the grandmother. Yet in the countries of the North you cannot fail to notice two things. One, i children, even if very small, they always go out, whatever the weather. Two, they're not dressed like the snowman. Accustomed to a more inclement climate, in which it often rains and change is the only constant that can be counted on, English and Scandinavian mothers do not let themselves be frightened. They go around in all weathers and dress the children in layers, avoiding any excess. Indeed, in Finland they recommend leaving children outdoors, despite the cold, during the nap. Effect: too weak children are avoided who get sick with every breath of air.
5 things to learn from non-Italian mothers: children have to fall
When you are a mother, it is easy to get overly protective and try to avoid any falls, scratches, bruises and the like. But that's wrong. Trying to think with the head and not with the heart it is easy to understand why. Only with direct experience can you really learn, deeply and lastingly, something. Words, reproaches, screams are not enough. You have to experience discomfort on your skin to be aware of it and change your behavior to avoid it. Let them experiment, get dirty, sweat, and even (reasonably) get hurt. They will learn sooner and better.
5 things to learn from non-Italian mothers: you don't scream
Yelling at a child, unless it is a way to get his attention in the face of danger, it is only a sign of anger, frustration and loss of patience. Often it is due to the fact that many parents fail to be authoritative enough (therefore to be heard and obeyed) with their children. And so screaming seems to be the only way to be heard. Foreign mothers prove this is not the case. It is not the number of decibels that affects a child's obedience. It works a lot more to be still, but calm. Be patient in the face of tantrums and don't give in to the first tear, arguing your no or the request made until it is answered.
There is another reason why non-Italian mothers seem to scream less. In addition to a question of culture that leads them to speak in a more moderate volume and on average to be less noisy, it is that they are often more practical. They consider much more less important than an Italian mother. For example, sitting at the table all composed and not getting up with dirty clothes, or not messing up the room by taking out all the toys.
5 things to learn from non-Italian mothers: there is the me time
This is the most important thing, in my opinion, to avoid going crazy when having a small child. A baby sucks up all of your energy and prevents you from doing anything other than looking after it. It means not being a heroine, not pursuing any ideal of perfection as a mother and ask for help. Precisely in our country, which still retains a strong sense of family and close ties with the community (not everywhere, not for everyone, but there is still a much stronger sense of collectivity than in other countries where communities have disintegrated and there is much more individualism), each mom is likely to have a much better chance of finding help and relief than anywhere else. Partners, grandparents, girlfriends, neighbors, everyone can keep the baby for a couple of hours. This way they can grant the mother the most precious, and in my opinion fundamental, me time.
Time to be on your own. Have a coffee sitting at the bar. Read you a book. Go shopping (for you and not for the baby for once). Or go to the hairdresser or do a manicure. The more time you will be able to dedicate to yourself, the better the quality of what you will dedicate to your child.
5 things to learn from non-Italian mothers: work, travel and share responsibilities with your partner
We know that the division of housework and childcare is a sore point in Italy. Of course, in couples under 40, men tend to be more involved in managing the house and to devote more time to their children. She not only takes care of playing, but also takes care of their hygiene, food, bedding and much more. On average, however, the burden remains mostly on the shoulders of the mothers. Abroad, in the Anglo-Saxon and Nordic countries, but also in France and Germany, the situation is more equal and therefore tasks and responsibilities are shared with the partner.
Another Italian problem is the return to work after maternity leave. According to the latest numbers available 22% of women lose their jobs within two years of the child's birth. Just over half of mothers with only one child work. The percentage drops the greater the number of children (with three or more it is 39%). Abroad situations change from country to country, but in general many mothers work. This affects the amount of time and care they can devote to their children, of course. But on average, girls born to working mothers will earn more once they enter the job market, while children will not have wage differences, but will spend more time at home and children when they grow up. Example matters.
A final aspect to consider is the journey. Foreign families, often with two or more children, tend to travel more than Italian ones. Even with small children. And traveling promotes a spirit of adventure, confidence in one's abilities and resourcefulness. Furthermore, this aspect ties into the knowledge of languages. Italy, despite compulsory teaching at school, is still far behind.
5 things to learn from non-Italian mothers: in conclusion
In short, with these 5 things to learn from non-Italian mothers I do not mean that homegrown mothers are wrong. Rather propose some food for thought to raise children (and moms) more independent, responsible, aware of their abilities e happy.
